You Could Do Something Amazing with Your Life [You Are Raoul Moat] Page 4
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Sean stops the car outside Karl’s sister-in-law’s in Dudley. Karl gets out and goes to the front door. He comes back after a few minutes and says he gave the letter to her dad.
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Sean drives to Blyth. You drop the letters off.
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He drives to Scott’s house [who got the van for Karl]. Karl goes to the door and leaves the key for the van so he can get rid of it.
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Sean drives to Andy’s house in Newcastle [a friend]. He gives you a phone, but the SIM isn’t registered.
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You tell Sean to drive to your house. The police are outside, swarms of them, looking for you. You tell Sean to drive, onto the West Road. He stops at a garage for a SIM card and chocolate bars. It’s after midnight. He gets back in and drives west.
The SIM works. You dial 999. They answer. You say,
Hello there, this is the gunman from Birtley last night. My name is Raoul Moat. What I’m phoning about is to tell you exactly why I’ve done what I’ve done, right. Now my girlfriend has been having an affair behind my back with one of your officers, this gentleman that I shot last night, the karate instructor, right. Now you bastards have been on to me, right, for years. You’ve hassled me, harassed me, you just won’t leave me alone. I went straight six years ago when I met her and I have tried my best to have a normal life and you just won’t let up, right. You won’t leave me alone for five minutes. I can’t drive down the street without the blue flashing lights, you know. You’ve stitched me up for years. You’ve been caught stitching me up. So the fact of the matter is, right, she’s had an affair with one of your officers.
Yep.
If he had not been a police officer I would not have shot him.
Okay.
It’s as simple as that, right. But the thing is, you know, it’s been going on for a while. I went to jail, right.
Right, right.
I went to jail for something I didn’t do. Now I could have took a community order, right, but what happened is me and Sam had a discussion with me barrister, that if I went to jail, within three to four weeks me barrister promised us, and they let us down, she said she would have us on a retrial, get the not guilty so me and my Sam could live together. Now I’ve went to jail, right—
Slow down a minute, because you’re losing me there.
Right.
Uh-huh.
Well I went to jail longer than I should have done for something I didn’t do, right. Which, justify that in your own head, right.
Yes.
And meanwhile, while I’m doing that for my missus, she’s having an affair with one of your officers, right, and then when I come out, right, she’s winding us up, saying that you are going to stitch us up, using him.
Yeah.
Right, and you know that he’s this, he’s that, he’s going to, because he’s a multiple black belt, he’s going to kick me arse all over the place, you know what I mean.
Right, okay, okay, mm-hm.
And I’ve had nothing but grief, and I’ve had a good relationship with her for six years, which is why we’ve stayed together. I’ve gone straight. I’ve had a totally legitimate life with her. I’ve opened a business. And I have been shafted, and you police have took too much off me over the years.
Okay.
You won’t leave us alone, and now you think you can take my missus. Now I didn’t mean to shoot her like that, right, that was—
Okay, okay.
He deserved it, right, but she, right, you can see from the ballistics, I’ve been altering those cartridges, right. That one was only half the powder. It was only meant to get her compensation, because obviously I’m not going to be around in a few days, right, it was meant to just give her a little injury so she can get loads of compensation.
Okay.
Now that I’ve found out she’s critical I’m not happy about it. I didn’t mean that, you know what I mean.
Right, right.
I can’t, I can’t, to be honest with you, I’m quite surprised she is critical, you know, but I didn’t mean that, but the fact of the matter is I’m not coming in alive. You’ve hassled me for so many years. If you come anywhere near me I’ll kill you. I’ve got two hostages at the minute, right. Come anywhere near me and I’ll kill them as well. I’m coming to get you. I’m not on the run. I am coming to get you. You’ve made me unwell. You’ve made me do this because you just won’t leave me out, you know, you just won’t leave me alone.
Can you confirm you’ve got two hostages?
I confirm I’ve got two hostages, yes.
Right, and, and where are you?
I’m not going to tell you where I am.
Okay, fair enough, yep.
I’m coming to get you, don’t worry, right.
Can I just confirm who you are? Can you give me your date of birth please?
Yes, it’s the seventeenth of June 1973.
Right, okay then, thank you very much.
Right. I am very sorry for what’s happened with Sam, that’s not what I meant, you know …
As you talk on the phone you’re telling them how Sam’s changed, she hasn’t half changed, and Sean’s driving over a roundabout with a T5 [a police car] parked on it, a police officer inside, waiting to bully someone, probably a single mum who couldn’t afford to pay her car tax, and the person on the phone’s saying,
Right, right.
She wouldn’t let me go up to her house. She wouldn’t discuss anything. And she was threatening me with one of your officers, right. Now I’ve had enough. I’ve had enough of you. That jail made me unwell. I came out a different kid, you know what I mean. I’ve lost everything through you, right. You just won’t leave me alone, right. So at the end of the day, you killed me. You killed me and him, before that trigger was ever pulled.
Right.
You know what I mean.
Okay.
You’ve pushed me.
We are trying to help you, yep.
You’re not trying to help me, you’re not trying. You wanted me to do myself in and I was going to do it until I found out about him properly, and what was going on, and as soon as I found out he was one of your officers I thought, nah, you’ve had too much from me, you’ve had too much from me. You’ll get your chance to kill me, right, you’ll get your chance to kill me.
We don’t want to do that. We don’t want to do that.
Yes, you do. You wanted me to kill myself, but I’m going to give you a chance, because I am hunting for officers now, right.
No. Please don’t do that. We don’t want any more killing, alright?
You hang up. Karl dismantles the phone. He puts the pieces in a bag. You’re on the A69. Sean pulls over. Karl puts the bag under a road sign. He gets back in, and Sean turns the car around.
…
He drives back to the roundabout, past the T5 again. He drives down onto the A1, to the next junction. He pulls off the A1 and turns back around, along the A1 again, to the slip road leading up to the roundabout with the T5 parked on it.
You tell him to drive slowly. Turn the lights off.
He puts the blinkers on. You tell him to turn them off.
He stops the car on the slip road.
You tell him to stay here.
You get out and stay low, crouched behind the concrete barrier, creeping up behind the T5, a few long strides, to the passenger window, stand up quickly, you can see the officer’s legs, he’s on the driver’s side, he leans over, looks at your face, he sees the butt of the gun against your chest, he sees your right finger on the trigger, and your left hand holding the barrel.
He looks at the gun.
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He looks in your left eye.
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You pull the trigger.
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The flash comes out like a cone.
There’s blood.
Face. Fluid
Spray
His eye has gone.
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He goes down. Slumped.
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You fire again.
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At the back of his head, at his left upper body.
He doesn’t move.
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There are two small holes in the window.
You run back to your car.
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You dive in and shout,
Fast, fast, fast, fucking drive!
Or
Go, go, go!
It’s hard to know, because everything happens so quick. Sean puts the pedal to the metal, the doors still open, tyres screeching, over the roundabout, down the slip road, tooling it up the A1. You sit in the back and unfold the shotgun. Two used cartridges come out. The car smells of spent cartridges.
I don’t think he’s dead.
That’s what you tell them.
You say he went down with the first shot, but the second shot, all you could see was the back of his head, so you shot him there.
They’ll all be shitting themselves now.
Ha ha
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[Lacerations. Soft-tissue damage. Puncture wounds. Broken bones.]
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You reload and tell Sean to spin round.
You want to see what’s happening. He drives to your house. All the police have gone.
He keeps driving, towards the roundabout, where the T5 was, but there’s a roadblock, so he turns off.
The police are running round like mice.
You drive past a man in a high-vis vest. He’s got an Alsatian with him, walking in the long grass. You could shoot him too.
But you don’t.
Sean keeps driving.
Onto the A69, where you left the phone. Karl gets out, picks the phone up, gets in the car, puts it back together. It’s 1.39am.
You call 999,
Hello, this is Raoul, the Birtley gunman. Are you taking me serious now? Are you taking me seriously?
Sorry?
Are you taking me serious now? I’ve just downed your officer at the roundabout at the West End of Newcastle.
Yes.
Yeah, well, I’m going to destroy a few lives like you’ve destroyed mine. Sam and the bairn were everything I held personal and everything meant in the world to me, and you’ve even taken that. You couldn’t just leave me with her. You’ve taken that as well. I’ve got no life left. There’s nothing for me to play with. This is what happens, this is what happens when you push, push, push and push, you know, you’ve left me nothing to play with now. Are you proud of yourselves, you know? Does this make you happy now? People are getting hurt now.
Hello?
Can you hear?
I can, yes, I thought you’d gone off-air.
No, I hadn’t gone off.
Where are you? Are you—
I’m not going to tell you. Listen, I’m going to keep coming for you. I’m not going to stop, like you didn’t stop for me, right. This is how far you’ve pushed me. There’s no need for it. I’ve lost everything. I’m really sorry that I’ve hurt my Sam. I didn’t mean to hurt her like that. I just meant her to get compensation and be set for life without me. But you, I do mean to hurt. You’ve not left me alone for years. You couldn’t just leave me with her, could you?
Right, okay then, but, erm, which way—
That’s what I’m telling you now. I’m absolutely not going to stop.
You’re not—
You’re going to have to kill me. But I’m never going to stop.
You hang up.
Karl dismantles the phone and leaves it on a grass verge.
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Sean drives back to base camp.
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Karl sleeps. You can’t sleep. Sean can’t sleep either.
The two of you sit up and talk.
He asks about the thing on the A69. He wants to know how it felt, so you tell him, how the hairs on the back of your neck would normally prickle when you saw a T5, because you’d be thinking, here we go again, expecting to get pulled, and sure enough you’d get pulled, but this time you just remedied the problem, and he’s never going to pull you again. It felt easy, being honest. Just casually walking up and getting the job done. You felt nothing, not at the time. You feel much better now though. You’ve declared war on Northumbria Police. Good. You’re not daft, you know it’s not a war you can win, but it’s about time people knew the police aren’t perfect, that some of the worst kids from school became police officers. People should know the truth about them. And the fact that Northumbria Police are finally taking you seriously, it doesn’t make you feel big or clever, but it does give a bit of satisfaction. It’s not over though. This is just the beginning.
You tell Sean you want to shoot a social worker.
You have a good chat about it.
[SUNDAY JULY 4, 2010]
YOU WILL DIE IN FIVE DAYS
Today’s a chill-out day. Kind of a day off.
Karl and Sean have a lie in while you write an eight-page letter to Sam. You write her a ‘Get Well Soon’ card as well. You wish you could have visited her in hospital, but it’s impossible, thanks to the police, so you’re sending her a card instead. The front’s got a poorly monkey on it with a thermometer in its mouth.
It says,
You’re in hospital … but luckily the doctors say you’ll be normal in no time!
Then inside it says,
Well, that’ll be a first.
You write beneath that,
No joke intended. Get well soon, Raoul.
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Karl and Sean get up. It’s the afternoon.
Karl puts the barbie on and cooks burgers and sausages.
You listen to the radio.
You read the Sunday papers.
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Your face is on the front of most of them, but it’s all lies, and the way you see it is, the public deserves to know the truth, so you sit in the tent with a notepad and pen, and you write your murder statement [this is an edited and rewritten version of your full statement; the full statement was forty-nine pages long and included accusations, odd logic and incoherent explanation; the following are your thoughts rather than facts],
RAOUL MOAT MURDER STATEMENT 4/7/10
On the night 3/7/10 I shot Chris Brown and Samantha Stobbart after an argument earlier that evening. Here I will make all facts clear so there is no misunderstanding about the events which took place and the build-up to these events. Sam used to go to Newcastle city to drink and she’d talk to me while I was working on the door of Liquid Bar in the Bigg Market. She was in a relationship with someone else though, so I stated nothing could happen while she was with him because there are enough women in the world not to mess around with someone else’s, and I take a dim view of those who do, which is why I have a history of violence over ex-partners’ bits on the side, though much of this is exaggerated. What I didn’t want was Sam to be sneaking around, which would in effect cheapen her, so I made my feelings clear. Even kissing would have been a poor start. I just wanted the whole package to keep because I loved her right from the start and she claimed the same. After a few months nothing changed though, so I stated that she had two weeks to finish with him. That time passed and nothing happened, so I started seeing another girl I’d been out with a few times previous, who was a bit big for my taste really, but soon after that Sam stated she’d left him. Hands up here, later that week I found out she was only 16. This made me nervous as she could hurt me emotionally, being so young. I’d only had one young girlfriend previous and that relationship had failed, but on New Yea
r’s Eve I met up with Sam at Liquid and she made her feelings clear. We had a good talk and started our relationship. She quickly packed in her job and I was working on the doors at that time so we spent all day, every day together. We grew closer and I never left her side. She was like no other. She changed my view on life, being honest. All my adult life I’ve felt alone, estranged from my entire family, needing to belong, but I never did. I used to fill the gap with beautiful women, but all the relationships failed and it was never enough, no matter how good the looks and personality. Other blokes would have given an arm for what I had, but I was never happy, and that frame of mind is contagious, it can drag partners down with you. Coming to Marissa, I was seeing her from 1998 to 2003 [a different date than you gave at other times] and we had two kids together, but we were always arguing and had serious fights. Sometimes the police got involved. I freely admit I hit her, but 90% of the stuff I was being arrested for was rubbish. The police bullied me, seeing a big guy as a target. I’d argue back and seal my own fate. I had 184 traffic stops in 2005 and not much less in 2006 [Northumbria Police recorded you being stopped fourteen times between 2000 and 2010]. Looking at my arrests [you were arrested twelve times and found guilty once] people can draw one conclusion. I’ll hold my hands up and admit I was a bad lad at one time, but the arrests are the untrue side. Most of what I’ve done I’ve gotten away with and the crimes I committed were only against people who wronged me. No innocent member of the public is unsafe, let’s be clear about that. But it was a witch-hunt, and it goes back years, when I was on the doors and this woman tried to get friendly with me, bringing me odd gifts and things like that. Someone said she was involved with the police. Well, I’m no Columbo, but I decided to prove it by telling her this story I made up about this other guy getting my girlfriend at the time pregnant. I told her I was going to invite this guy fishing and push him off a cliff, you know, have himself a fall. I arranged for it to happen that weekend. Anyway, it worked like a dream, because the police got involved immediately, which to me basically blew her cover [or showed that someone who had heard about your plan told the police], and I’m almost certain nobody else told the police, but anyway, that night the woman called me a loner, saying how I was born with nothing, and the police would see to it that I never had anything [you later said she didn’t actually mention the police], which I pooh-poohed at the time, but now I understand how powerful they are. Like the visit from the Environment Agency about fly-tipping. What was all that about? And cars getting uplifted. But this is just a taste of what’s gone on. Coming back to Sam. The first 6 months were fantastic. It was clear she was the one. Even when her family fell out with me she chose to stay with me. This was a massive wake-up call. Never had anyone devoted themselves to me like this. It was my turning point. All my life I’d wanted death, hence the risks and making the worst kind of enemies. I was shot at 3 times, but didn’t care. Now I wanted life and I wanted it with my Sam. She helped me be who I really wanted to be. She was beautiful and sexy and the best company ever. We made it special and she was perfect. She was possessive and jealous, which I liked at times. I told her there was nothing to fear, but what stressed her was me and Marissa staying in touch. This caused arguments. I didn’t understand at the time, but now I do, and one day I pushed Sam. She fell and cut her head. I was really sorry. It came out of nowhere. She was upset. I was upset. I didn’t think I could do that to her. Once I was calm I told her violence only gets worse and I didn’t want that with her, so I said next time I’d leave, and I began to remove Marissa from my life. I now know that jealousy is just another form of love. It meant that Sam really loved me. Over time our relationship grew stronger, but one thing bothered me, my age. Yes, good stuff was happening and I was changing into a better and more normal person. I realised my whole life had been a mistake and packed in the door work to please Sam. The bodybuilding wasn’t so important as it was mainly a protection thing anyway, and for the first time I was with a woman and not thinking about anyone else. I’d fallen in love, like in the books. I worshipped the ground she walked on and I couldn’t be far from her. I wanted to be with her forever, but there was that niggling problem, that sooner or later I would get old on her and she might want to leave. She might resent it. What a kick in the teeth, to be shown life in the arse end of my youth. To be giving me Sam, the one, at an age when I could lose her. If I lost her I knew I’d go back to my old ways. I tried to stop thinking about it. That life before her was awful in so many ways, so the best way to keep her was to be the best I could be. But with every day I grew older. Every day I worried more. She stayed though. We had a few small time-outs in the first year, mostly because of insecurities about my devotion, but she knew that shock tactics got my attention and made me give her whatever she wanted to persuade her to come back. Anyway, my child with Sam was born, sealing my dedication to Sam. I enjoyed watching Sam grow as she became the mother of my daughter. We planted bulbs one summer’s day and I’ll never forget it. I sat for a minute and stared at her while she continued planting them, the most beautiful woman in the world, right there, with me, doing something really ordinary. It was a perfect moment. Mad as it sounds, it doesn’t get better than being there and feeling what I felt in that garden. I just wished I’d been her age, that I’d met her at school and married her straight away instead of wasting my life. But it was like God had cut me a break and sent her from the heavens to guide me. The more I loved, the more I wanted to give back, so I started this gardening business, Mr Trimmit, to secure our future. I worked hard, 7 days a week, sometimes late, and me and Sam didn’t see much of each other. We missed each other. I’d get back and she’d be in the garden. Every day had this perfect moment. But I missed them so much. My life was clean and honest. I loved it, except being away all day. What I didn’t realise was I was drifting away from Sam because of that time apart. I didn’t see it until there were problems. The thing is, Sam was young and she was missing me so much. I’d come in, tired, and we’d argue. On occasions there’d be a bit of pushing and shoving, which upset us both. On a few occasions it went a bit further because Sam would say something very hurtful which would cut deep, but I never punched her. I slapped her and grabbed her or pushed her. To try and fix things I started working less hours. It went well again, and Sam loved me more than ever, but she didn’t know if she could carry on. Perfection was going wrong. I thought about giving up Mr Trimmit, but I never wanted Sam to put her hand in her pocket and just feel her leg. It would have been a waste. So I carried on, but on the 13th of January 2009 Sam left. I was devastated. I didn’t know where she had gone. Eventually I tracked her down at her gran’s house and had many discussions with her about what to do. She agreed to see me on Valentine’s Day, but wouldn’t let me book a hotel. We had a nice time in the house. All the cards came on the table and I wanted to have sex, or should I say making love as it would have been, but she stopped it. I carried on seeing her daily and doing my duty with the kids, but it drained me emotionally. I was crying a lot. Doing my duties was so difficult. In June the allegation came [about hitting a child]. Full details can be obtained from my solicitor. Every day I told Sam I loved her. I told her I’d never strayed while we were apart. She never seemed convinced, but honestly, if another woman came over I wanted to punch them straight away. No other woman would ever compare. It was back to like it was at the beginning for a few months. Sam went to live at her mum’s over winter. I saw her still, but this charge was hanging over me. Sam ended up crying most days. These were hard times emotionally. Then she took a house a few doors away from her mum’s. And when I appeared in court these idiots found me guilty. Sam seemed to give up on our relationship. The month before sentencing was upsetting as she seemed distant. I tried to connect without success and she started spending a lot of time elsewhere. One night I demanded the truth, wanting to know if there was someone else. She cried a lot and said there wasn’t [there wasn’t]. She just wanted to talk about the kids, which I saw as another sign of cheat
ing [she wasn’t]. On the day of sentencing I rejected the Community Order and agreed to go to jail so I’d get a quicker retrial, so there wouldn’t be any complications about me living with Sam. I love Sam more than anything. But I underestimated how hard jail would be. It’s proper shit. I couldn’t hack being away from Sam. Time has no meaning in jail. Then these rumours reached me [which were false]. It was unbearable. Sam ended it and that finished me off. They gave me medication. Days before being released she said she had someone else. Once I got out I decided to end my life with a shotgun I obtained, but after the first night I promised to give it one last try with Sam. Unfortunately on the night of the shooting she goaded me. I told her I was at her house and I was prepared to fight Chris because I was sick of the threats. I wanted to show him up. She stated it would be too severe a fight because we’re both large and heavily trained in martial arts, and she said she’d talk to me tomorrow. Then my battery ran out. I went home for the charger, rang her, and we argued again. It was unbelievable. She even denied the conversation about getting a quick retrial had taken place [one of several conversations you appear to have misunderstood], so I went bonkers and told her I wanted a fight. Then her mum started in with her childish mouth, saying to get over it, and her neighbour, Jackie, started too, before she hung up. I forced Karl Ness to drive me over to Jackie’s house and wait for me to shoot Chris. I hid under the window for an hour and a half, listening to them mocking me. It was hurtful. If I was ever going to back down, hearing them saying those things stopped that. Sam was all I cared about in the world. I didn’t want to live without her. She couldn’t be replaced, and he was the reason we were apart. So if I’m off, then so is he. I warned them, but they wouldn’t listen. The police had taken everything. Now they wanted my all-time love. Had he been an ordinary guy and not police I wouldn’t have shot him. At 2.30am they came out. I shot him in the chest and he ran off. I fired a second shot and he went down. I pointed at Sam to chase her and she ran off. Her mum was screaming. I reloaded two customised rounds. One for Sam and one for him. Sam’s was half the powder with small gauge pellets. With a superficial injury, she would get a massive compensation payout for her and the kids’ future, inadvertently providing for them when I’m gone. There would be small scarring reminding her not to do this to anyone again. How could she have done this to me? I read in the paper about Sam’s gran saying I bruised Sam, but I never bruised her. Ever. Stick that lying cunt on a lie detector [you admitted that you hit Sam]. As for these other claims, they’ll be paid witnesses. Fucking lying cunts. I’ve a good mind to come back and shoot them. Anyway, I put the third round in his head and went to the window and fired at Sam. It hit. She seemed okay, but I paused to be sure. She crawled to the kitchen and hid behind the door. Her mum had fucked off upstairs. Typical. [She went upstairs before Sam was shot to hide the children.] I went to shoot myself then changed my mind because I’m determined to get the police back. Karl had gone so I made my way to Chester-le-Street and got a taxi after phoning Anth Wright. I took two hostages and went to ground. Last night I declared war on Northumbria Police before shooting an officer. They’re going to pay for what they’ve done to me and Sam. The public need not fear me, but the police should because I won’t stop until I’m dead. And I never hit that little kid [you were found guilty in court]. I could simply admit to anything now because it doesn’t matter. I’m a killer and a maniac, but I’m not a coward. And with Sam, I was terrified of losing Sam, as I knew I’d lose the plot if it happened, so that stopped me from ever beating Sam [again, you admitted you hit her]. Anyone saying otherwise can go on a lie detector. I’m gutted she’s really hurt. These doctors had better save her or I’ll hit that hospital. I’m still chomping my jaw, like I’m on ecstasy. I thought it was the medication, but I’ve been off that since I came out. It feels like I’m watching a film, not real at all. I guess I’ve finally lost it. My hostages are safe and the police know they will only be harmed if I’m raided. I’m not on the run. I will keep killing police until I am dead. They’ve hunted me for years, now it’s my turn to hunt them. I am very sorry about Sam. I wish I hadn’t shot her. Just make sure she stays alive. I never cheated on her. I wish she hadn’t on me [she didn’t], but by doing so she pulled the trigger just as much as me.